Fears.

I have many.  In fact, if my fears/apprehensions are not worked out in good time (i.e. at least days before I have to deal with them) they often haunt me.  I'm sure I'll come up with a part 2-3-4 for this topic, but here is one that plagues me regularly.
THE NEED FOR ADVANCE PLANNING.  Now, I suppose this applies to a lot of situations for the masses, but in the case of my job it's pretty specific.  For example, I need to know in my mind what I will be teaching for the next month or so.  I suppose to teachers this isn't unusual, but for me it's imperative that I have my schedule, photocopies, and plan in place.  I may not appear organized- my desk is often a mess, my marking not always up-to-date, but I always, always know where I am going.  When there is doubt, it keeps me up nights.  When I taught French this was not much of an issue, as I had an amazing mentor that is a master teacher.  Her methods are tried and true, and she is 100% reliable should I go astray.  Now, teaching grade 6 all subjects and being responsible for filling the hours of the school day for a group of students, it's a bit more challenging.  Not to say I'm not up for the challenge, but it's at times hard.

Advance planning for me also applies to my fear of finding parking when I go to a locale.  I DO NOT go somewhere without knowing where I can park my car.  If there is a fear of not finding parking, I will either change my plans or go ridiculously early for where I have to be.  (In the case of a conference.)  As Rick and I have 1 car, he often drops me off at work.  I still maintain a paid parking spot in the parking lot, so as to have a guaranteed place in the mornings to park.  When I subbed for many different schools, I would often get there 30-45 min ahead of schedule to figure out parking.  Neurotic, I know. What would happen if I don't find parking right away? Probably nothing, but the idea of it makes me break into a cold sweat.

For this reason, I avoid driving downtown on my own or other places with limited parking. The idea for this post came from another blog about a bakery I want to visit.  Unfortunately, it's located in the exchange district.  :(  I likely will never venture there.  I can't even explain the stress.  I wanted to buy Erika a jacket from MEC (Their ONLY location being on Portage Ave.) for Spring... not going to happen.  I found another option. (I even considered at one point to mail order it to me.) I will very willingly go these places as a passenger- it's like the responsibility of parking is lifted off my shoulders.  I've even tried tempting Ricky to drive with me to this bakery, but as sweets are not his thing, I have not been successful yet. I'm still trying!!!

Oh yeah, there will be more to come as I could go on and on and on. Hmmm... maybe this isn't such a good idea....